I asked my friend what the word “feminine” meant to her. She scrunched up her nose as if smelling something putrid and said, “delicate, dainty you know… Effeminate.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I looked up “effeminate” on the internet – “effeminacy is the manifestation of traits in a boy or man that are more often associated with feminine nature, behavior, mannerism, style, or gender roles rather than with masculine nature, behavior, mannerisms, style or roles. It is typically used implying criticism or ridicule of this behavior.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There it is. That last sentence, on Wikipedia no less – “it is typically used implying criticism or ridicule of this behavior.” Effeminate, and the other words we use to express feminine qualities is a word that desperately needs rescuing from a culture that has a wickedly disturbing relationship to all things feminine.