Site icon Sheila Kelley

3 Powerful first steps toward a life of Epic-Body-Ownership

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My mission is to elevate women out of the mind-numbing routine of daily life and into a wildly empowered soulfully feminine existence. Today, I’m going to give you the 3 powerful first steps towards a life of Epic-Body-ownership so you can start getting your life back instantly; because there is so much more to living life and you know it, don’t you?

Maybe, as you’re reading this, you feel numb in parts of your life that used to feel joyful. Maybe you don’t feel any pleasure or desire in your body anymore. Maybe you have no energy left for yourself because you’ve spent every last drop on everyone and everything else. Maybe you’ve played by all the rules and you’ve done what you thought was expected and your dreams are still not working out… and you don’t quite know why.

But what you DO know is that something isn’t right. Something is MISSING. You KNOW there’s more: more to Love, more to experience, more of you that hasn’t yet been seen, more to you than you can even feel. I know what you’re feeling because this was me too before I discovered what I’m going to share with you today!


I was in what I thought was a great marriage. I had a successful career. I had a toddler. I had a nice home. I thought I had it all. And yet, I wasn’t fulfilled. I felt disconnected from my own life. I felt lonely and frozen in my own body. I had this constant nagging inside of me that kept saying “there’s so much more for you to express.” And there was. There was so much more of me that no one had ever seen. I discovered this simple truth – having a feminine movement practice changed EVERYTHING. I became a Woman Ignited. I discovered my Epic Love. Every day became filled with energy and excitement. I finally felt abundant in my body and my heart. And I felt seen.


In last week’s blog, I talked all about why so many of us become numb and frozen. I explore why so many of us lose our badass fire and become ghosts of who we used to be. If you read that blog post you must, by now, be thinking… how in the hell do I overcome all of this? Well, we have to get back to being an Ignited Woman.  And the good news is we can begin that process here, together, today.

But I have to tell you it’s not a magic pill…

It takes facing demons and releasing old patterns. And sometimes, that can be hard. But I KNOW that you can do it because I have witnessed thousands of women from all backgrounds and walks of life do it, and keep it alive.

My desire is to inspire you to reconnect with yourself – I am inviting you to do that, to become present and be right here, right now. This is an intentional embodied practice – one that you can do from anywhere in the world. Today we’re exploring the first three steps towards a life of epic proportions. S Factor women all over the world live this practice in their daily lives. And you can too. So let’s begin…

3 Powerful First Steps Toward a life of Epic-Body-Ownership:

1. Take back ownership of your body immediately!

2. Unlock your Feminine Geniuses (keep reading… I describe the 5 Feminine Geniuses below)

3. Ignite your erotic desire now (because erotic energy is life force energy)!

Remember the state of your body is the state of your life. And, when you enliven your body you enliven your life

Step 1 – Take Back Ownership of your Body Immediately!

Taking back ownership of your body is not something you can THINK into existence. It’s an actionable process – a practice of reclamation and a lifestyle. 

Let’s play a little game kind of like Simon says but let’s leave Simon out.  We are going  to see how much ownership you have over your body. 

*place your left hand on your right shoulder 

*place your right hand on your chin 

*place your left hand on your cheek

*place your right hand on a breast 

*place your left hand on your vulva 

When I got to your vulva and breasts was there any hesitation at all? Any tension, judgment or  fear? 

98% of the time women have just a moment of hesitation if not downright refusal to perform the last two directives.  Especially when they’re in an audience of other women and men. 

If you cannot be comfortable touching every part of your own body, then it’s impossible to fully live inside of her. And if you can’t fully live inside your beautiful feminine body, then it’s hard to have full ownership over her. You won’t have full ownership of your body until you unravel her.  Until you melt her frozen musculature. Until you listen to and honor the stories that have held her back. Until you can speak to her sweetly – until you can touch her anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone without fear or hesitation. And until you can let the deep truth of her flow forth in every color of emotion, desire and sensuality… until then, she isn’t fully yours. And when you finally reclaim her – oh my goddess – the entire world opens up to you. You’ll remember how you like to be desired, what you like to wear, how you like to love and be loved in return. You will remember how to ask for what you want, unapologetically. 

So for now, place your hand on your heart and breathe deeply. Feel the beating against your palm. Feel the warmth of your hand on your chest. What is happening here is that the heat of your hand against your chest is beginning to release oxytocin from your brain into your body. You will begin to feel a sense of warmth and calm.  Breathe into it. This is the first step of body guardianship. We’ve got to get your body to trust you again. To feel safe in your own touch. 

Step 2 – Unlock Your Feminine Genius

You are a feminine genius. Did you know that? There is a brilliance in your body that you have forgotten how to listen to. There is an inherent wisdom in your body that you constantly override with your mind. But when you unlock the effortless genius of your body, you access an abundant life that is sensual and emotional. 

This inner genius never leads you astray. There is a pathway to unlocking her. It’s through what I call the 5 feminine geniuses, which are the 5 attributes of the feminine that we have lost through the ages. These are feminine muscles we neglect to flex in our everyday life. But when we do flex them, the feminine within us expands and elevates. We rise. We get out of pain. We become a force of nature. We become  unstoppable.  

The first Feminine Genius is Curve of MOVEMENT

Remember that cage of frozen musculature I wrote about last week? We can start to break that apart by honoring the natural shape and physiology of our body. Right now, today, you can start to open up and move into your curves. When you wake up in the morning, roll your hips, arch your back, circle your pelvis and dance your way out of bed. This will start to breathe new life into your beautiful body. 


When you walk across a room forget about trying to get somewhere and allow your body to soften.  Allow your hips to enjoy the slow rocking back and forth from one to the other.  Allow your spine to gently undulate to the rhythm of your hips rocking.  Feel your curves take up more space and time with pleasure and freedom.  This is the beginning of cultivating your genius curve of movement. 

The second Feminine Genius is SENSUALITY 

How many of you feel disconnected from this genius? There’s a way to start flexing your sensuality right now. Tune into the feeling of your clothing against your skin. Focus your attention on the scent of your skin or hair cleanser. Can you remember a loving touch your body has experienced? Maybe It was your mother stroking your hair when you were a child or a lover’s firm grip on your lower waist. Notice how the cells in your body start to perk up – to tingle – as you think about this. Sensuality is all around you. And you can access it anytime, anywhere.

The third Feminine Genius is EMOTE-ABILITY

This is a big one -and boy are we stuck emotionally when we feel frozen! Take a moment, maybe close your eyes, and ask your heart what she is yearning to express. Maybe it is love, or rebellion, or jubilation, or irritation. Your body knows the answer. Just allow that feeling to bubble up inside of you and breathe it out. Over the next day, see if you can give your body permission to feel and experience the depths and heights of the emotions that are asking to be expressed by you. The key to this Feminine Genius is acknowledging yourself and your feelings, no matter what they are.

The fourth and fifth Feminine Geniuses are CONNECTION and INTUITION

These two Feminine Geniuses go hand-in-hand. Come join me in Woman Ignited to learn more about them. And in the meantime – start to become aware of the deep instincts in your body that you tend to deny or shut down – think of moments when you feel totally relaxed, vs moments when you feel on edge. This is the intuitive animal of your body deeply sensing how she feels about the world around her. That is your brilliant intuition. She is there, but we have to open up your body to really give her a voice, which leads me to… 

Step 3 – Ignite Your Erotic Desire Now! 

This is your wild. Your free and vital nature. I’m going to let you in on a little S Factor secret: eroticism is the secret sauce of this journey of life. Every living being is an erotic creature. The erotic is the force of life within your body. It is the force that creates life. It is what nurtures your children and protects your family. It is the force that cultivates intimacy and connection. And it is a body experience


And desire, well, desire is the force that moves us toward life. It is our creative fuel. So obviously, if we shy away from the idea of our own desire we are going to remain shackled to the dull state of affairs that we have been led to believe is normal. So, just to give you a taste of what this feels like in your body, take a moment to remember the best first kiss or best first intimate touch you ever experienced. It could have been the slight brush of a hand against your forearm. Or the new, strange warmth against your lips. Feel the electricity start to move through your body. Notice as the cells come to life. Living FULLY in this titillated feeling is what it means to be a Woman Ignited. 


How do you feel now, after exploring the 3 powerful first steps toward a life of epic proportions? Obviously, we just scratched the surface of the endless ways we can turn ourselves back on, but this initiation into living as a fully expressed woman is a powerful way to begin exploring this life you so desire. This feminine practice is truly the lifeline out of emotional and physical stagnation. Today, I’ve given you what you need to get started! 

And finally, what I want to leave you with is this:

What do you crave the most? For many, it all comes down to change. We want our lives to look different. We want our bodies to feel different. We want our relationships to be different. We may even fantasize about it. So, what’s keeping you stuck right where you are? 


The truth? Excuses. And I get it. I’ve been teaching women for 21 years now, and I’ve heard almost every excuse out there. But no matter what excuse you throw at me for not taking steps to reclaim your life, I will hold a mirror up for you to see your truth and get intimately honest with yourself. Because there isn’t an excuse in the book that justifies living a life that is disconnected or just “fine”. You deserve more. 


By now, you might feel a little overwhelmed by where you are compared to where you want to go. Or you may feel a lot of resistance around doing any of this work. Or you are excited but it seems beyond reach to live the kind of life you want. Here’s what I have to say to that: It’s not. It’s not out of reach, and you can get to where you want to go. I promise you. 


What I can offer you is this… I can offer you a step-by-step pathway that will take you back to the burning desire that is within you. I can gently guide you – one simple step at a time – back to your real self. You can find the woman you know is living somewhere inside of you. You can create the relationship you know you should be having. You can reignite the passion you know you could be feeling. 
In my online course, Woman Ignited, I’m offering the foundation of my signature retreat experience in an eight-week journey of reclamation and discovery. 


This is an opportunity to get access to the keys to the queendom of your body, your heart,  and your passion. I know for a fact that every single woman on this planet is CAPABLE of living more fully in her feminine essence. I know your life will forever be altered. 


No matter what you do, you must do something. Find a feminine movement practice like S Factor. Find a tribe of women who celebrate you. Start taking care of YOU. Stand up for your sweet body. And remember, reclamation is a fierce act of rebellion.

 
We covered a lot today, be gentle with yourself and write down what comes up in the coming days. Start to notice the places in your body where you feel phantom aches and pains – is there a story there? An offense?

Start to notice the ways throughout the day you stop your emotion from flowing. Do you hold your breath or swallow something you need to say? Do you say you’re sorry all the time?


Keep track of what feels disconnected, and what is aching to come back to life.  Because you can feel the glimmer of the radiant feminine powerhouse inside of you. 

Let’s go get her! xo Sheila

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